Sons then Fathers

Fatherlessness is an epidemic in our society today and is at the core of many issues we deal with today. There is no denying the power of a present, committed and loving father. Somewhere along the way, we created this generation of fatherlessness. That means, fathers today are running from their responsibility. We can easily blame this on what is “acceptable” in our society today. But I believe it goes deeper than that.

It is my belief that the majority of bad, absent fathers did not wake up one day choosing to be bad at their inherent calling. Everything always goes further and deeper than what we can physically see. Bad fathers were once bad sons. Of course there are exceptions and some men truly choose to not take responsibility and go in the opposite direction of being a man/father. However, fatherhood traits are ingrained in us at a young age. There are numerous reasons why this rings true in so many men, however, someone who is seen as a bad father may have once been a bad son.

Before we let our minds think those fathers created bad sons, or that I even mean “bad” in a troublesome connotation, let me clear this up. A “bad” son happens when the son does not learn how to be a son. If we want to be good fathers/leaders, we first must learn how to serve, learn and be trained and be good sons. Very rare are the occasions when someone wakes up one day and is a successful leader. There is a process, and skipping steps in the process creates a world of hurt for those that fall in the wake.

Looking back a couple generations in our society, there have been some difficult and strenuous times we have endured. The Great Depression, World War 2, Hippie Movement, Vietnam and Korean War, moral failures in leadership, even the digital age have all had their role in straining children. Through these events we have lost fathers in death from battle, illegitimate parents producing children via the peace, love and drugs movement, poor examples of leaders following through with setting a good example and fathers consumed with work.

There have been plenty of unfortunate opportunities of children missing out on fathers, for numerous reasons. Perhaps the fatherless generation was created out of young boys and girls not learning how to be their father’s children. Not knowing how to be a child will not prepare you for being a father and mother.

Our earthly fathers tend to be the box in which we fit our expectations of Father God in. If earthly fathers represent God poorly, it has the largest affect on becoming a child, then a father. In Scripture, it is evident that Christ wants to restore our relationship with Father God and open up the avenue to having an intimate and personal relationship with Him. When we do not have a father to show us how to be a child of God, we miss out on the process that leads to us being fathers and mothers.

So much can be said of this, but the main point of what I am saying is this; in order to prepare ourselves to be good fathers and mothers, we must first learn how to be good children. We need to learn and understand our identity, submit to the process and have a relationship with Christ. The cycle of the fatherless generation must stop. The way this will stop is by men and women being reconciled with Christ, then being reconciled with their fathers and mothers. Once that happens, we can fully father the ones who need someone to step up and step into their lives. I lost my father at a young age, I was fortunate enough to have men step up and step into my life while I was growing up. It is because of them that I am a successful adult today with great potential to father the fatherless.


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