People like it.
I was never the life of the party. Didn’t care for eyes being on me. I did feel like I was witty and could make people laugh, but the room had to be quiet enough, or you close enough, in order to be heard.
There have also been so many times in my life where I’ve been in a conversation in a group setting where I would start saying something, trying to participate, only to be overtaken by someone else. Of course, it wasn’t their fault, I was too timid and quiet.
I used to be very self conscious about myself because in this. I don’t really have a loud voice nor do I command a room by speaking (unless it’s in the heat of competition in sports). I allowed my voice to diminish because I wasn’t as loud and flashy as other people.
But the weird thing was, I was always drawn to these types of people! I loved being around them, they made me feel alive and like I could step out of my shell a little bit. I was the boring one, and I surrounded myself with “the life of the party”.
However, there is a truth I’ve learned about myself in this. “Boring” is good. Because a lot of times “boring” is stable, loyal and consistent.
And maybe that’s what I was discovering about myself. I didn’t ride the roller coaster of life with all the highs and lows it offers. Feeling the most those two can offer, both good and bad. I was present. The same. I was consistent.
I think that’s what I wanted so much in my life growing up and now as an adult. I wanted consistency. I wanted to know what I said and did would be what I said and did. And when it comes to people in my life, I want to be consistent. I want to be predictable!
This may sound odd, but I’ve come to learn people, more often than not, and most of the time, want predictability in life. Mainly, in the relationships they choose to invest in and cultivate. Humans tend to lean toward being creatures of habit. We like consistency, predictability and stability.
We want those things in people especially because life often gives us the opposite. Life will throw you a curveball and create uncertainty. Uncertainty isn’t a very safe place to exist. At least not for a long time.
When uncertainty comes, we can make our way through and endure the difficulties, but we usually do so by finding the thing we can have certainty about. Our marriages. Our faith. Our family and close friends.
I firmly believe we can be the best version of ourselves when we have a level of certainty in our life. Consistency, predictability, stability. Those places are safe and can be a huge resource or strength, especially when life becomes chaotic.
Boring probably isn’t the right word. Boring is something I latched onto in my own life and allowed the negative to arise out of it. Boring isn’t it, but consistent is.
I guess I leave you with this: be the type of person that can bring calm to a storm. Be the type of person someone wants to run to when the rainy days happen. Be the type of person who is a safe haven.
This isn’t a personality trait, it’s a way to choose to live. Whether you’re the life of the party or the one people talk over. We can all become the steady force of consistency and stability to the people who we love and care deeply for.
We can all be this, and so many moments of turmoil can be halted with people who bring peace, consistency and stability. Let what you say, do and think become what you say do and think. When we do this over and over, we become the type of person who can bring safety and peace to any situation.
Does what you say, do and think line up with how you live your life?
When you say something, do you follow through?
When you do something, do you give it thought and consideration prior to action?
Are your thoughts lining up with the actions and words defining your life?
