Good Intentions

“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions.”

Stephen Covey

The first time I read this quote I was at a friend’s house and he had it written on a bulletin board of goals, and I had such an “A-ha!” moment in my mind. Two actually.

The first “a-ha!” was my struggle with giving gifts. As it scores lowest on my love languages (actually didn’t really register) I had a realization of how much hurt I could cause when I would forget to give gift but said, “I meant to”.

I had every intention of getting a gift, and a great one. But not following through and saying I meant to was actually much worse than simply forgetting.

My intentions were great; but my actions were less great.

The second “a-ha!” I had was how true this has been in my life and my mind.

I wouldn’t say I was particularly prone to judging others, but as human beings, this is all something we struggle with and must be consistently aware of. But this actually had less to do with how I viewed people.

It had much more to do with how I justified excused my own shortcomings.

I’m in my head all day every day. I know my thoughts, my goals, my desires, so I’m fairly certain I know my intentions. And they are mainly good! Desiring to be so caring, thoughtful, forgiving, loving, etc. in anything I say, think or do. Just an overall great dude.

In judging myself this way, I was doing pretty well at being all those things, all the time. Because I intended to, and even wanted to! But what gave me pause when I first saw this quote was the realization of my possible ineptitude in this area.

Was I really living out being a caring, thoughtful, forgiving, loving, etc. person? Or did I just imagine myself as such, because of my intentions?

Our intentions are what we think we are. Our actions are who we truly are.

This quote should be such a challenge for self-reflection and then self-realization. Few people on this planet truly seek out being overall bad people. Wanting to do bad things and hurt people on purpose.

Most everyone desires to be a good person who does good things to make a positive impact on the world and make people, especially those we love, feel cared for and valued.

My guess is you are the type of person who desires to do good.

If that is the case, might I challenge you to, first, look inward. Ensure you are viewing people with the same amount of grace you give yourself. And secondly, check yourself on the level of judgement you allow to pass through your thoughts and words.

As I thought more about this quote over the coming days, everything kept going back to that word: grace. Giving people the benefit of the doubt. Expecting the best from others. Anticipating the good they desire in their hearts. Give grace. Give it freely, quickly and first. To yourself and to others.

As a Christian, grace is a common theme of a life following Jesus. First, with Him giving us the most radical grace ever, by taking on our sins and receiving the punishment we earned so that we could be free and forgiven. And second, with the challenge and call (dare I say expectation) of using that grace to give grace, to have mercy, and to be forgiving, understanding and loving.

These are foundational pieces of the life of a Christ follower. But they are also foundational for us as human beings as well.

I’ll leave you with two self-reflecting questions:

• How differently do you judge yourself compared to how you judge others?
• How often do your intentions line up with your actions?

Awareness leads to change and improvement. Let’s all get better today by becoming more aware of ourselves and then taking action!

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged, and do not condemn and you will not be condemned, forgive and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37

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